Revolver find replacement for Chris Woods

Christopher Woods will be leaving us after five years to join the Beeb.

In an exchange Revolver MD Paul Birch describes as “a fair swap”, the BBC Spares department have offered a free replacement (left inset). The new robot, named “Chris 2“, handily runs off two AA batteries. (The old Chris mostly ran off Crisps and Coffee.) The only downside at the moment is Chris 2 insists on calling everyone Smith.

Chris 2 was last seen in the TV series (and later, Matt Le Blanc-headlined feature film) “Lost in Space“. Most higher functions are controlled by either a BBC Micro or Sinclair Spectrum – it’s hard to tell. The computing power found in a modern day calculator has been found to be far superior but Revolver management remain “hopeful“.

Chris 2 said about his new appointment, OBVIOUSLY I HAVE NOT WORKED SINCE THE FILM CAME OUT, I HAD HOPED FOR A SEQUEL BUT WAS INSTEAD LEFT IN A STORE ROOM BY SMITH. WHILST SPACE AND TIME ARE INFINITE, THE BROOM CUPBOARD IS MARGINALLY BIGGER THAN THE REVOLVER OFFICE BUT I HOPE TO BE WELL OILED IN RETURN FOR MY DUTIES.

Paul Birch remarks, “we will be sorry to see Chris go, but the offer of a free TV license was something we just couldn’t match“. Chris will remain ‘involved’ in our co-operative as a member. (define ‘involved’…! — Chris 1)

Chris 2: MY SENSORS DETECT A SHIFT IN THE SPACE TIME CONTINUUM, DANGER, DANGER – MY SENSORS DETECT THERE HAS BEEN A PERMANENT MALFUNCTION IN THE HYPERDRIVE NAVIGATION SYSTEM.

We are not really sure what that means.

(Sorry to see him go, note to others: replacement must be kept out of the rain.)